I really don’t want to sound a bore
But my throat today is very sore
Seems lack of sleep and scattered diet
Has turned my larynx into a riot
I’ve taken to sucking Fishermans Friends
In the hope the pain will end
I understand that could be misconstrued
But I meant the sweets so don’t be crude
My throat really is killing me today, I’ve been battering a cold for the past 4 days but it’s developed into a painful throat. Does anyone have any decent remedies that work?
So it’s Monday and I ain’t feeling right
Cus’ my stomach’s in knots feeling tight
A self-inflicted pain I confess
What a weekend yeah I was a mess
I had rockers to the left of me
Prog hippies to the right
Here I am on a Monday feelin’ blue
(wonder if you can name the tune I wrote these alternative lyrics to?)
Not a Lot to Say
It’s day three and I’m already starting to struggle
I should have known that taking this on was asking for trouble
Lack of inspiration will leave this poem quite short
Er, so that’s all for now folks now fook off and come back tomorrow!
As I said earlier this month I’m giving away digital freebies in December and continuing with this giving theme I’ve commissioned a Christmas card that you can also use as a desktop background should you wish to do so.
Simply click on the thumbnail to go to the full sized file and right click to save as (or similar).
Merry F**king Christmas y’all!
Right now I’m probably at my office Christmas party. I can’t say for sure because I did that nifty thing of scheduling this post so this was written in preparation of tonight but I am most probably there right now as you read this. Now we all know that office parties can turn even the most reserved shrinking violet into a gregarious harlot so if you wanna escape with your dignity here’s how to survive the office Christmas party. Continue reading “Dazzle Rebel’s Christmas Party Survival Guide”
I am trying so very much to not to turn into a be-Scrooged Grinch in the run up to Christmas but it’s becoming increasingly possible that I’m going to rein act the most bad-ass scenes from that Michael Douglas film “Falling Down” if I don’t take a chill pill soon. If it isn’t hoards of miserable shoppers, screaming kids and doddery old farts in the shopping centre it’s boy racers, school run tanks and even more doddery old farts on the road. Continue reading “Waiting in Line ~ or ~ do you have a coupon for that?”
I have found a cure for the common cold! Seriously last Friday I was close to keeling over and calling it a day, I’d only had ‘Man Flu’ for a day but it was killing me. By the time I got home that evening my head felt like it was five times it’s normal size, my nose felt like I’d been snorting cotton wool and my throat felt like I’d swallowed a nest of fire ants (cue screeching violins from an infant school concert). I’ve been in this place many times before but this time I was determined to beat it. Continue reading “Dazzle’s Medicinal Compound ~ or ~ how to kill a cold with Scotch whisky, cold tablets and a strong chilli”
You could be forgiven for expecting a blog about the awesome HBO series “Game of Thrones” but alas you will not find that here. Oh no. This little ditty is actually about our toilet habits. Now when I say “we” I mean men and when I say “habits” I don’t mean our lack of aim or what we get up to with a dirty mag, I mean the things we do to fill the time whilst sitting on the throne. Continue reading “Game of Thrones”