Tag: humour
30th April – NaPoWriMo
An Ode to National Poetry Writing Month
So my thirty days of poetry is up
Never before have I been so prolific and writing this stuff
I used to think poetry was a pile of shite
Something for nobbers who value modern art and all that tripe
In the past month I’ve brought you so much crap
So I’ll take a bow and give a tip of my hat
Cus’ there’s something I’ve realised during this month
There’s so many poets I’m just the billy-onth
And so many people are better than me
They don’t just write rubbish but at least I’m gutsy
I’ve told it how I see it, not more I can do
Now this is cliche goodbye, yep from me to you
So my thirty days of poetry is up
Never again will I be so prolific and writing this stuff
‘Cus I still think that poetry is pretty shite
I’ll leave it for the nobbers who value modern art and all that tripe
29th April – NaPoWriMo
Monday Again
It’s Monday again but we’re almost there
So don’t drown yourself, come up for air
This poetry shite is very nearly done
And I can’t really say that it’s been much fun
I guess that you have to take it for what it is
Something for wankers covered in jizz
But on we plough theres only one more day
And then thank god it can go away!
27th April – NaPoWriMo
Sunshine
Saturday and I’m wanting some sun
To relax and drink and have fun
And act like a dick
In front of my chick
Then fall over and do her up the bum
26th April – NaPoWriMo
Bad Addiction
There’s a chap with a bad addiction
But don’t you dare mock his affliction
Cus’ he likes to rock
And bob till he drops
Now that is a man with conviction
25th April – NaPoWriMo
Itchy Feelings
This is an old rhyme of a witch
And as you read it you may just might twitch
As headlice and fleas
And scratching scabs on your knees
Manifest in spontaneous itch
23rd April – NaPoWriMo
Terrible Tuesday
I’m having a Terrible Tuesday flutter
My insides feels like churning butter
This must be the most awful work day
For us 9-5ers who just wanna play
Cus’ office walls are torture tools
Computer screens are death machines
Telephones go through my bones
And it’s only motherf*ckin’ Tuesday
18th April – NaPoWriMo
Honey with Marmite
Ever had one of those kiddy combinations
Like Honey and Marmite on toast?
Sunday greens with jelly beans
It’s a new take on the roast
I’ve never understood peanut butter and jello
It’s one of those American things
Like cornflakes in a lasagne
Or chocolate onion rings
But peanut butter and cheese on toast
Is definitely the combination I like the most
Not strawberry jam with chicken wings
Or butternut squash and cheese strings
Those funny, weird and strange concoctions
Flabbergast me with their options
So since turning thirty-one
There’s no more kiddy combinations, yes, I’m done
10th April – NaPoWriMo
Sore Throat
I really don’t want to sound a bore
But my throat today is very sore
Seems lack of sleep and scattered diet
Has turned my larynx into a riot
I’ve taken to sucking Fishermans Friends
In the hope the pain will end
I understand that could be misconstrued
But I meant the sweets so don’t be crude
My throat really is killing me today, I’ve been battering a cold for the past 4 days but it’s developed into a painful throat. Does anyone have any decent remedies that work?
