The Mutts Nuts ~ or ~ a beastly observation in a material world


The same guy walks passed with his dog pretty much every evening.  The guy isn’t of much interest but his dog, some kind of Pit Bull Terrier, always catches my attention, well it’s not the dog but the dog’s balls – they’re humongous!  Now I don’t normally perv of dog’s bollocks but you can’t help but notice these, they are just so huge!  However the other day along came the guy with his dog but something was amiss.  The dog was missing his bollocks!  What’s more the dog looked positively miserable, so it got my mind cogs turning.  How about fake silicon balls for animals?

Seriously, think about it for a minute and it starts to make sense.  The pet market was one of the only growth industries in the recession and owners are willing to spend fortunes on their beloved animals, especially the Yanks.  Say poor pooch was owned by a pimp or gangster from the ‘hood, he’d wanna make his pup look mean as possible.  Now say he didn’t want the dog trying to hump him every time he bends over, he’d have his balls cut off but then the dog would lose all of his street cred – especially with the size balls this dog had.  So here’s the solution, silicon balls!  Yep, they can do it for humans so why not animals?  I think I could be onto a money spinner here – it’d make an interesting pitch on ‘Dragons Den’ that’s for sure.  You don’t need to stop at mere silicon though, imagine steel balls!  You’d crap your pants if you saw a dog come bounding towards you with a pair of metal bollocks clanging between his legs.  Ok you might have to put some WD40 on them every now and then but if you’re a tough gangster it’s a small price to pay for having a mean looking pup by your side.  It don’t stop there, how about bling diamond balls for you Victoria Beckham wannabes or for the racer; carbon fibre balls?  This time next year Rodders…

Do you have any ideas for inventions?

Dazzle Rebel

 

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